Sunday, March 27, 2011

Everyone is talking at me...

-Jimmy Buffet. ^^

She knows what she wants. She wants to graduate. She is ready to be out in the world, living her own life. But will they listen? No. They think that because she wants to graduate three months early that she doesn't plan on finishing her college education. And now they refuse to talk to her about it. She brought it to them the way they asked: in a calm, grown up, non-argumentative way. Now she doesn't know what to do. She is torn between listening to what they wish for her to do and following her heart. Her heart is telling her to graduate early, go to the college that she wants, and live her life the way she wants to. Her parents are telling her to stay at school for a pointless three months in which she will become lazy and go to the college that they want her to go to and do what they want her to do. She knows what she wants. She wants to write. She wants to play music. She wants to be a whole semester ahead of the kids her age. She hates that her parents don't think she can do it. Why? Just because they didn't end up where they really wanted to be doesn't mean she has to do the same. She doesn't want to set her goals sky high only to find herself half way there when her first child is born. She wants to go to the top. She wants to ignore what her parents say and go to the institution that she wants to go to and be done with her parents' rules. How she wishes she could...

Monday, March 14, 2011


The media is a thing from hell. As she sits in the salon waiting for her sister, she is reading a magazine with an article about Natalie Portman. The girl is tiny, at least a size four. She thinks, "I wish I was that small." She knows she could be, or she couldn't be. The latter is more likely. Pictures like Natalie's just depress her. As if she doesnt have enough to deal with. She just wants so many things in life, above all to be confident in herself. She wants to be happy with her size, which she isn't right now. She wants to love her freckles and her frizzy, curly hair, not wish her face was smooth and clean and her hair was straight and beautiful. Really, the only thing she likes about herself is her eyes, and the way they sparkle when she is truely happy, which she hasnt seen in a long time. She sighs. What is she going to do?