Thursday, November 25, 2010

Sometimes you just know.

Sometimes you just know
when that one person
is the right person

Sometimes you just know
when he smiles at you
when he makes you laugh
you just know
that he is near-perfect

Sometimes you just know
as you're laying together
holding each other
kissing each other

Sometimes you just know
you just feel it
you know its real
with every kiss
and every touch
you just know
when you're in love.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Finally, Finally, Finally.

     They met during the first week of school.  She sat at his lunch table one day with her friends from orchestra.  She smiled at him every time she realized that he was looking at her.  She was quiet, and sometimes, he observed, she looked a little sad.  He had no idea why she was sad, but he felt the need to wrap her in a hug every time he saw that look cross her face.  He always wondered what she could be thinking when she looked like that.  She was way more beautiful when she was happy.
     She didn't notice the looks he gave her often, but when she did, she could tell he was interested.  He always made a funny face when she caught him looking, and she giggled and looked back down at her lunch.  He sure was cute.
     They hung out for the first time in the downtown area with a mutual friend.  They walked all over for a good four hours, finally returning home exhausted and hungry.  Then she went on a weekend vacation to see her older brother.  They sent messages back and forth, getting to know each other over text messages.
     The next weekend was homecoming.  He had to be at the game, so he stayed after school.  She stayed with him to keep him company.  As they were wandering the halls at school, he asked her some questions.  He asked if she liked him as a friend, or possibly more than a friend.  She said yes to both.  He asked, "If I asked you out would you say yes?"  She said maybe.  Then he finally, finally asked, "Will you go out with me?"  She smiled her biggest smile, happy as any girl could ever be that finally, finally, someone liked her, she said yes.
     They went to homecoming together, October 9.  They kissed, October 9.  They said "I love you," October 28.  They're going on two months.
     She is so happy that finally, finally, someone loves her like he does.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

What she feels and what she wants to feel...

What she feels and what she wants to feel are two completely different things.  She feels lost, like a page torn out of a book and used to clean up a mess, although she hoped no one ever did that to a book, no matter what the book was about.  When a page is missing, the story will no longer make since.  She feels like a page was torn out of the book about her life and nothing makes since anymore.  What now? she thinks.  What am I supposed to do?  She doesn't know where to start.  There are moments in the day when she just feels like sitting in a corner all alone and crying her eyes out.  She doesn't know why.  She just wants to cry.  She feels like it would make her feel better.
What she wants to feel is loved.  She wants to feel normal, and she wants to feel like there is at least one person in her life who gives a shit about her.  All her parents are concerned about is each other.  They don't care if she gets up and goes to school in the morning, or if she eats three meals a day, or if she drinks enough water to keep her alive.  They don't care.
Of course, she does all these things, because she believes that there is something to live for; someone somewhere will come along one day and starting caring.  So she does get up every weekday at  six AM and goes to school, she does her school work, and her homework.  She makes the grades.  She eats three meals a day and she lives.  She lives absently, in her own little world for a majority of the time, but she lives and walks and sometimes she talks.
One day, she hopes, someone will be there for her.  Someone will love her the way her parents never did, never could, and she will feel like she has some purpose in the world.  It is a small thread of hope, but it is her hope and it is what keeps her going from day to day without giving up.